Once upon a time two friends took a train on a long journey cross country. Look see... Thats them, the the greatest of ladies in their finest eveining gowns, because why not on such a momentus occasion. Ms Render fleeing her pregnant wife and Ms Houlihan fleeing teenagers. All they wanted was to be alone and read, alas this life was not permited them, so against elders wishes they took off!
With grand plans they embarked on their journey to unknown lands, little did they know what atrocities befel them. There where poeple there most of which "normal" which did not suit both the ladies. No one had a favorite murderer or appreciated murder books at all. They did meet a witch who sugested to rid the world of "normal" people they would need to travel all the way home by train with a wooden bowl on thy lap made of only oak, and inside that bowl you should find an autum leaf that has been pee'd upon by at least 3 dogs (dont ask how we checked for this). Also You will need to travel home on the hogwarts express and in the event that Harry potter may app ear, you must offer him 2 boiled eggs and a bouquet of flowers. Also you must not read on the journey. But if you must, it is imperative that you wear only blue nitrile hospital grade gloves.
of course the ladies
Alas the ladies decided